CBT
We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them – Albert Einstein.
Cognitive Behavioural therapy has been the main pillar of most treatment centres and one of the most popular approach in therapy. This therapy form was developed in the 1950s by Dr Albert Ellis, and by Dr Aaron T Beck a decade later.
When I was 18 years old, I came across a book written by Descartes, a 17th Century French philosopher who coined the famous quote “I think, therefore I am”.
Our thoughts and patterns of those thoughts is a source of problem.
Have you ever sat with someone with severe depression and after 30 mins, notice how pessimistic the person becomes in his world of impressions, that he chews on the same complaints over and over again, and you observe how he ends up feeling overwhelmed, stuck and hopeless?
Cognitive Behavioural therapy
Addressing such negative thought patterns is the focus of CBT.
CBT helps you to recognise the futility of unhealthy thinking patterns.
Breaking one’s thought patterns is not easy. Saying no to our usual negative self-talk is difficult.
CBT trains your mind to explore alternative thinking styles, challenges one’s old modes of thinking, and trying on new thinking hats.
This example may give you some idea what CBT is about.
John and Susan are a married couple and they have been experiencing increasing conflicts.
(A) Activating Situation
John suggested Susan to go for therapy for x reason.
The activating situation creates the following consequences. So (A) will jump to (C)
(C) Consequences in terms of feelings and behaviours that Susan may encounter
Shock – How could he suggest it?
Embarrassment – Am I defective? Am I bad?
Avoidance – I will make excuses and ignore my spouse’s opinion
Aggression – I am going to find fault with him, to put him down to vent my frustrations, for reminding me of my inadequacy
What are the underlying beliefs that Susan has that cause those feelings?
(B) Beliefs
Therapy should be the last resort. I would not do therapy until we are at the doorsteps of a breakup
We can fight our way through this… as usual.
I will look weak if I attend therapy. How will others feel if they know me to be in therapy?
I should deal with my issues alone. Only I can help myself
To use CBT in this example,
Disputing those beliefs one by one,
-> Does therapy get to be the last resort when a relationship has become toxic and unhealthy relational patterns may have already become too hard to break?
-> Are there better ways to resolve the current conflict than to fight?
-> Would inviting your spouse to do a few couple sessions help to reconcile the differences quicker?
-> Needing and asking for help is often the most courageous thing to do for yourself.
-> Could connecting to an external supportive therapist, allow you to discover your solutions faster and easier? Imagine, the amount of heartaches and stress you save if you could reconnect with your spouse in a healthy and loving way.
Why is CBT important?
Our brains and minds are always active. Thoughts are ceaseless and uncountable. It feels as if sometimes we cannot switch off our monkey minds.
In recent years, Mindfulness Based CBT has been used by spiritual and non-spiritual based practitioners to guide us towards a restful, non-judgemental, and safe way of observing our own thoughts.
Most of my clients appreciate mindfulness and meditation to improve their therapeutic growth.
Give yourself a comfortable head space today.
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